Tuesday, June 16, 2015

Tightrope Walker

I want to tear off my skin
this useless chrysalis
maybe free from it
I can find my bliss

each song I hear hurts
even the most joyous tune
echos something lachrymose
with as much hope as a deflated balloon

My mind is bursting
and it comes out in tears
memories burning
with fuel from fears

I try to match the words
vibrant like paint splatter
a beautiful mess
but hopelessly scattered

I am stable 
like a tightrope walker
I am upright and moving forward
but I wobble and I totter

I will hold my balance 
because it's heaven or hell
Tomorrow is a mystery 
A dark stairwell

We tell each other 
to stay strong
but we know there are days
when living feels wrong. 

(Written 6.16.15)

Tuesday, June 9, 2015


Tuesdays Slice of Life

Revisiting the music of another era.
From a time when my demons were beginning to stir
but the blade hadn't yet met my skin.

The lyrics that inspired me. The words that stirred my heart.
Already the seed of my downfall grew
but the vines of this sickness had yet to strangle
the hope from my lips.

The guitar rifts and drum beats
predicted my heartache.
But I couldn't read the tea leaves.
The cloud holding the future storm
blindfolded me.

The voice brings me back to a time of change.
When a little girl danced in the moonlight,
talking to the stars.
A Walkman on her hip, headphone on her ears,
and passion in her heart.

(Written 6.9.15)

Wednesday, June 3, 2015


I originally posted this on my Facebook wall, but I this is why I have a blog, to post my thoughts and feelings. 

What's on the Inside is what Counts

"I've heard a lot today about how "God does not make mistakes" in regards to Caitlyn Jenner's belief that she was a girl born in a boy's body. Christians are throwing out words like "sick", "mentally ill", "sinner".
Putting aside the age old arguments "Love thy neighbor" and "Judge not lest ye be judged", because obviously those aren't working for you. Let's focus on the fact that God does not make mistakes. Everything happens for a reason, right? Try this on for size...
How about God put Caitlyn Jenner in the wrong body so that she could have that painful journey, so she could light the way for others.
God makes us all different and gives us different experiences so we can learn from one another and grow. Sometimes he puts us through pain we cannot explain. And it's an unfortunate fact of life that sometimes a few celebrities have to openly experience something before we start recognizing and supporting those in our own community. Celebrities have helped open up the conversation about topics like mental illness and domestic abuse.
I know that many of you will not be swayed. You are steadfast in your belief that Caitlyn is a "freak". But I hope you will take a moment to open your ears and hear the words coming from your lips and the damning sentences you pound out on your keyboards, and I hope you consider if you would do the same with Jesus at your side.
Yes, there are people saying horrible things on both sides of this debate. But by reaching out in hate and judgement instead of forgiveness and love, you mark yourself hypocrites and you stray from the teachings of that holy book you clench so tightly while you condemn your fellow man. [/rant]
I heard this song today and it was like I heard it for the first time. It made me think of the journey transgender individuals go through. Sending my love and prayers to those fighting that battle."

Blackbird - The Beatles